Slow-to-warm-up temperament and Startup Festival Malta

I once had an important conversation with an important person, who drew my attention to something crucial. It was that what I often feel is completely normal, and in fact, it even has a kind of psychological label. This is the so-called "slow-to-warm-up temperament."

The term appears in Thomas and Chess’s famous temperament theory. In short, it describes the behavior of a child (or person) who needs time to feel comfortable in a new environment, but who, with time, is very capable of warming up and feeling good in that particular new situation.

Well, this description fits me so well, and I suspect many other people in the world too, that I was very surprised to find this term so difficult to come across on the internet.

Most of the time, it’s attributed to “social anxiety”, “inhibition” or "shyness" which I believe are labels with a strong negative connotation, and I prefer to avoid those.

What I take from this term is that it is a character trait, something that’s not easily changed, more like a given quality.

And like many other given qualities, it can also be an opportunity, of course, if we recognize it, identify it, and consider what it can offer.

We can look at the “negative” side, focusing on the initial “anxiety” phase. Or, we can also see it as a process that eventually leads to a guaranteed, almost cathartic relaxation and a flood of good feelings.

Of course, it’s not easy to focus on the positive side of something that in reality often causes frustration.

However, I’ve also learned that it’s worth trusting the process. So, trusting that relaxation is bound to happen.

What does this temperament give me, what usually happens inside me:

• When I end up in a larger group, I indeed experience social anxiety symptoms, which probably don’t need much introduction to most people.
• I prefer conversations in smaller groups of 2-3 people.
• I like to stay quiet in larger groups.
• I prefer to connect with fewer people, but more deeply.
• As the event progresses, I feel increasingly comfortable.
• At the same time, if there is at least one person (I usually call them my “anchor”) whom I know well, or even trust unconditionally, the entire anxiety experience can disappear.
• All these typically manifest as “high-functioning anxiety,” which in practice means that most of the time, no one can see any outward signs of it.
• Interestingly, external feedback can greatly impact this, and after initial doubt, it can build strong confidence, even if the feeling itself remains.

In the past 3.5 years, I’ve attended more than 100 different business-focused events. I’m sure I went to more than half of them completely alone.

As you can imagine from the description, this required an immense amount of energy. It’s not easy to walk into crowds of hundreds or even thousands of people, and to do so so many times with this temperament.

That’s why I invite as many people as possible to come to Malta next week to attend the annual Startup Festival.

Like many, I too prefer quality over quantity when it comes to networking at such events. So I enjoy longer, more meaningful conversations, though, of course, this doesn’t always happen.

And what to expect from the event? I didn’t expect much special in advance: talks, exhibitors, a few workshops requiring registration, and of course, “endless opportunities for networking.” However, the 1-on-1 option and the pre-scheduled meetings provided by DealRoom are simply brilliant. I think this will help me a lot compared to previous events, especially considering the points above.

The event is free, the weather in Malta is incredibly nice right now, and I’m just about to head out for my post-work swim in the sea. The flight tickets are cheap in mid-October, and a few acquaintances are arriving too, so hopefully, we can enjoy Malta’s entertainment options with a larger group...Come, it will be great! :)